J. P.

You were my first
in more ways than one
You turned me on
and opened my eyes
led me down a road
I might never
have travelled
or at least pushed
me along it
faster or sooner
than I would have
gone before you
There are still songs
and places and
times of the year
that remind me
of you and the
short wild time
we had together

Road Ghosts

There are ghosts on the road
I see them sometimes
out of the corner of my eye.
A song, a scent, a familliar sight
and they come drifting up
from the depths of my mind.
Old friends long disappeared
places where we wasted
our money along with our time.
I see them sometimes
when I'm alone on the road
with nothing to do but drive.

Fractal memory # 9

Bleary eyed watching the sun rise
drinking coffee
on the small upstairs porch
mind still slow
from the night just past
I look at the girl
and she smiles

Fractal Memory #8

Red truck again
dark side street
in a quiet neighborhood
smoking dope from a crushed
coke can
with two giggling girls

B.S.

I met you twice
at forks in the road.
Both times I made
the wrong choice.
More in a list
of regrets I have
over failures from
the past.

T. (Winter, 1986)

T. called. It was probably 6:30 or 7:00 at night, and snowing like crazy. She needed somebody to talk to, to lean on, a sympathetic ear. Boyfriend trouble, of course. I was always the "guy friend" that the girls trusted and loved like a brother. "I'll make coffee", she said. So I put on my boots, heavy coat and head out the door to walk over to where she was staying. She was living at a friends place at the time due to issues with her dad. We drank the coffee and talked for quite a long time. Eventually we ended up sitting on the stairs that led to the upper unit of the house, an older place divided into an upper and lower style duplex. We sat close and talked some more, T. with her head on my shoulder after a while, and my arm around her shoulders. The talk faded off, and we sat just holding each other, until I heard her whisper very softly "I wish I didn't have a boyfriend and you didn't have a girlfriend, right now." I pretended not to hear her at first and asked what she had said, but she wouldn't repeat it. I still regret not making a move. That night could have had consequences that might have steered my life in a very different direction, but I guess I'll never know.

A. N.

You used to say I followed you
like a puppy
but I never went anywhere
I wasn't led.
I should have called you on it
but I didn't want
to push the issue.
I thought that if you
had more in mind
than just being friends
you would have let me know.