J. P.

You were my first
in more ways than one
You turned me on
and opened my eyes
led me down a road
I might never
have travelled
or at least pushed
me along it
faster or sooner
than I would have
gone before you
There are still songs
and places and
times of the year
that remind me
of you and the
short wild time
we had together

Road Ghosts

There are ghosts on the road
I see them sometimes
out of the corner of my eye.
A song, a scent, a familliar sight
and they come drifting up
from the depths of my mind.
Old friends long disappeared
places where we wasted
our money along with our time.
I see them sometimes
when I'm alone on the road
with nothing to do but drive.

Fractal memory # 9

Bleary eyed watching the sun rise
drinking coffee
on the small upstairs porch
mind still slow
from the night just past
I look at the girl
and she smiles

Fractal Memory #8

Red truck again
dark side street
in a quiet neighborhood
smoking dope from a crushed
coke can
with two giggling girls

B.S.

I met you twice
at forks in the road.
Both times I made
the wrong choice.
More in a list
of regrets I have
over failures from
the past.

T. (Winter, 1986)

T. called. It was probably 6:30 or 7:00 at night, and snowing like crazy. She needed somebody to talk to, to lean on, a sympathetic ear. Boyfriend trouble, of course. I was always the "guy friend" that the girls trusted and loved like a brother. "I'll make coffee", she said. So I put on my boots, heavy coat and head out the door to walk over to where she was staying. She was living at a friends place at the time due to issues with her dad. We drank the coffee and talked for quite a long time. Eventually we ended up sitting on the stairs that led to the upper unit of the house, an older place divided into an upper and lower style duplex. We sat close and talked some more, T. with her head on my shoulder after a while, and my arm around her shoulders. The talk faded off, and we sat just holding each other, until I heard her whisper very softly "I wish I didn't have a boyfriend and you didn't have a girlfriend, right now." I pretended not to hear her at first and asked what she had said, but she wouldn't repeat it. I still regret not making a move. That night could have had consequences that might have steered my life in a very different direction, but I guess I'll never know.

A. N.

You used to say I followed you
like a puppy
but I never went anywhere
I wasn't led.
I should have called you on it
but I didn't want
to push the issue.
I thought that if you
had more in mind
than just being friends
you would have let me know.

Fractal Memory #7

Jones Park,in the fall maybe?
sitting on the wall
smoking and talking
sneaking sidelong glances
trying to figure out
what you were thinking
should I make a move?

Short Political Rant #1 (Stolen from my Facebook commentary)

We on the left need to quit acting like politics is a great big happy-ass suburban soccer game where there are no losers and everybody gets ice cream after. We need some loud old-fashioned 30s style union activist type lefties! We have to start playing like this game is for keeps!

The fear factory on the right not only ignores actual facts, it manufactures it's own. They spew distortions, half truths and lies to keep the sheep in line.

Deregulation and greed made jobs go overseas. Reagan started the union busting in the 80s. The repugs in congress would rather work on preventing abortions than creating jobs. Fuck the right.

Political Rant #2

All private money needs to be removed from elections. All third party ads need to be out. All lobbying of legislators needs to end. Only then will we be rid of corporate influence in politics. But with the Republicans holding the House and only a slim Democratic majority in the Senate, don't hold your breath. The Republicans will continue to whore for their corporate masters as long as they are allowed to.

Stop the Liars

Stop the liars
Stop the lies

They kill the truth
and steal your minds
corrupt the system
and let the future die

Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies

They use bogus morality
as a shield to hide
the evil and hatred
on which they thrive

Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies

Power mad and greedy
they want all of the pie
sell the American Dream
so they can steal your slice

Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies

American Taliban who
try to deny
that church and state
should not be combined

Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies

Corporate money turns
the electoral tide
the rich getting richer
the poor left to die

Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies
Stop the liars
Stop the lies

Invisible II

New Years Eve, 1986. We started early and had three cars full of people. we drove around a while, then stopped out at the big park on the north side of town to regroup and plan the next move. One of the girls told us that a friend of hers was having a house party, since her parents were gone. We mounted up and headed out. Approaching one of the busiest intersections in the city, I forgot how early it was. I stopped for the red light, but my mind read it as flashing red which works like a stop sign.
I looked left, right and left again. No cars either way, so away I went. Through the still red light. No crash, no horns honking, no police to stop me. I still to this day don't quite believe I got away with that one.

Beer Slushies/The Long Wait in the Dark/The Adequate Escape

Friday night, mid winter. 11:30 P.M. or there abouts. Doc, Gramps, T. and I pull up in front of T.s house. We wanted to have one more beer before we dropped her off for the night,but they were all semi-frozen. T.s dad had told her not to have anybody in the house,but he wasn't supposed to be home for over an hour. We warmed up the stove, opened our beers and set them on the burners. about ten minutes in, (and with the beers still not thawed) we spotted headlights coming up the driveway. "Oh shit", yelled T., "it's my dad!" We grabbed the half-thawed beers and followed T. quickly up to her room,where we hid out in the dark for about three hours.
We sat quietly, not moving, on the floor hiding as well as we could behind furniture. We barely spoke or moved the entire time,only a few whispered words. Occasionally, T. would sneak over to the door and look down the stairway, only to see her dad still sitting in his chair. He never made a move to come up the stairs and find us, but he never moved from his spot in the living room, either. I am sure he knew we were there.
Finally, we decided that the only way out was the window. T.s room was in the front of the house, with a window that looked out over a small overhanging roof above the front porch. We quietly opened the window and one at a time climbed onto the overhang and jumped into the front yard. From the lowest point on that overhang roof it was probably eight feet to the frozen ground, but we all managed to make it uninjured. We got to the car and pushed it half a block before getting in and starting it so T.s dad wouldn't hear it.

Fractal Memory #6

Five of us sit on the hill
near the water
summer sun but a cool breeze
blowing in off the lake
as we sit in the sun to dry off
smoking cigarettes and drinking beer

Fractal Memory #5

The barking dog wakes us
early summer Sunday morning
hazy from the night before
we make love then return to sleep
awaken love sleep again
four or five times
I don't remember now
we finally leave the bed in early evening
and sit on the balcony
grilling steaks and drinking
in the low sun of the afternoon

Shopping Cart Safari

Doc and I used to work together at a grocery store near a smallish mall. Some Friday and Saturday nights if or schedules worked out, I would leave my car at home and we would take off in his car after work. Usually it was just typical idiocy, get some beer, find some girls, raise some Hell. One particular night,we got out a little later than normal. The mall area down the block was closed by the time we got done working. We headed over there in Doc's car on our way out of town and herded the stray shopping carts around the parking lot. With the car. We must have hit ten or fifteen of them, and sent them sailing all around the lot, bent mashed and mangled.

Fractal Memory #4

Driving the red truck
into the summer late afternoon
waiting for the night people
to come out
smoking a small sweet cigar
and damning the sun
for being so low and bright
right in the eyes
as I turn and head west

Fractal Memory #3

Moonlight on the water
late night summer swim
laughing girl takes my hand
and guides me
to her gentle shore

Invisible I

Early summer,1987 I think. Graduation party season, and we hit about five that day starting about noon. It got to be about 6:00 or so,and Doc decided he wanted to get something to eat. So we stop at Burger King and he goes in. His brother and I stay in the car, deciding we're too pissed up to go in. After about ten minutes or so we both decided we had to piss. We got out of the car and stood on either side. In the Parking lot. In broad daylight. Facing towards the second busiest road in town. And nobody looked at us twice, not so much as a horn honked by a passing car. Either it was too weird of a scene for people to believe, or we were invisible that afternoon for about three minutes.

Fractal Memory #2

Big blue car blonde girl driving
winter highway snow and wind
car too fast hits ice and spins
into the roadside snow
tall grass blowing in the cold
looks surreal encased in ice